Beyond the Smile

(Originally posted on LinkedIn)

Would you believe me if I told you that behind the smile in this photo I was at the lowest point in my life?

For most of my life, my goal was that you'd only notice the smile. Until recently, I was a master at keeping it all together for the sake of others, at making the surface look flawless.

Eventually, where that got me was a state of complete burnout coupled with some depression and a loss of my "spark." You see, I'd been abandoning myself - my needs, my health, my limits - for 29 years.

Like many women and people who work in service-based jobs, I'd always seen self-sacrifice as an admirable and desirable way of being. But it took hitting an all-time low to see the fatal flaw in this mindset: at a certain point, sacrificing myself for others meant becoming a shell of myself, unable to get up off the couch, and certainly not able to show up fully in my life and work.

It actually cost me all the things I thought I was doing it for.

Finally, I realized I needed to change. Deep inside, I had a dream to work as a coach, but I knew I could never accomplish that in my current state. I couldn't keep going back to an empty well and expect to pull up clean water.

The first step I took was to leave my job and take a break - a real break - for the first time in many years. I knew I needed to create the space to heal, rest, and reset, if there was to be any hope of pivoting toward the life I wanted. (I acknowledge that I had the privilege and support of my partner which enabled this choice, and for that I'm truly grateful.)

In that space, I started to come home to myself. I finally started to listen to my body and prioritize my physical health. I started to confront the mindset that told me I had to be perfect to be loved, that I had to always put others first in order to be doing "enough." And I hired my own coach.

In the months that followed, I was able to become whole once again. That gave me the energy and resilience to take some giant leaps of faith. The first was to move abroad and create new memories and adventures in The Netherlands. The second was to declare my new role as a coach and focus on developing my own business to help others have the same breakthroughs I'd experienced.

Fast forward a year, and I live in Amsterdam with my husband and work with incredible clients. I've traveled to new destinations in Europe. Each day, I can hardly believe the transformation that has happened in my life over the last few years.

I now see what is possible when people who always put others first can learn to value and prioritize their own wellbeing, to take up space without apology, and to dream up something scary and actually do it.

I'd love to know: does this resonate with you? If you're feeling stuck, broken, or burned out but know there is more out there for you, reach out! Send me a DM or use this link to book a free call: https://lnkd.in/ejQ-PhHX